An Editorial by someone unqualified to talk about anything.

It’s become a common occurrence among my social circle to utter the phrase “be kinder” to each other accountable for the horrible, terrible things we say and do. Granted this is a phrase drenched in irony, as usually the person who is saying it has said something as bad or worse in the last 10 minutes (a fact which rarely goes without being called out), but despite all that it’s a sentiment I can actually get behind. There’s so much negativity in our day to day lives that to be frank, I do not need that shit around me, and neither do you.

Completely in spite of that, I love music that glorifies being a horrible person. There is just something so fun hearing someone proudly display the worst aspects of themselves under the guise of “being a bad bitch” that absolutely works on me despite my general “zero tolerance for bullshit” rule. I can think of so many examples of tracks that fit this bill and would love to write about all of the, but I thought today I’d take a moment and layout a non-comprehensive step by step guide on things not to do as a sensible human being, and accompanying songs that talk all about said thing you shouldn’t do for your listening enjoyment.

#1: Please do not find out that your partner is cheating on you and then go fuck the person they cheated on you with

I feel like this should probably go without saying, but this is a terrible idea. I’m not a “turn the other cheek” type of person but this feels needlessly complex and fixated on revenge to unhealthy levels, and you absolutely should not do it. With that said, it makes for one hell of a song. With the way Vana has carved out such a prevalent foot hold as a woman in rock now it’s really easy to forget that this wild dark-pop track exists in her early catalog. You’ll quickly learn that aside from loving music that experiments, the second biggest thing I look for is this very specific “fuck you” energy that this song is absolutely drowning in. I love the usage of an electric bass here over an 808, and the pairing of that with the reversed synth swells and vocal layers makes for an engulfing experience. The vocal content of a track like this is self aware in it’s toxicity with the acknowledgment that “jealousy is a disease”, but my god does it make being a petty bitch sound like fun. But again, please don’t do this.

#2: Please do not stay in mutually hateful relationships for the aesthetics

Alright this one should also be obvious. If you’re in a relationship that repeatedly makes you cry you really should get the fuck out (no you can NOT fix them), but oh my god does Ellise’s Hateful Ever After make it sound so appealing. I’m a soft ass person, I will cry if you look at me wrong, so the idea that this song can convince me that being a mutually horribly partner sounds fun is ridiculous. Obviously I can separate fiction from reality (side tangent: please remind the news stations that video games don’t cause violence before GTA 6 comes out), but the way this songs second verse talks about the sheer boredom of solitude and normal social interactions goes a long way into swaying your opinion on shouting matches. It’s that damn energy again, as the atmosphere of this song just like the last paints a personalized hypothetical villain arc for the listener. It makes you feel not only in control, but like your mundane life could be like Euphoria or something if you just woke up and decided to be juuuuust a little worse. Once again a reminder, do not do that. That is the worst thing you can possibly do for your social life and well being. Don’t be an idiot.

#3: Please do not become a drug fueled apathetic fuck machine

This one is a throwback, and one that makes me personally want to be a worse person (bad sign). Blackbear’s digital druglord was an album that got me through highschool. I bonded with my closest friends over this album, and I also spent some absolute lows listening to it. That is probably the absolute worst thing to do at your lows by the way, because it (along with the general drug culture surrounding music at the time) absolutely made me want to sleep around and try Xanax. Do not try Xanax. Anyways. if i could i would feel nothing is a pretty simple contemporary R&B track at its core but once again, it’s got that self destructive energy that just feels good in your bones, and blackbear’s general writing and vibe of this time is just something I eat up to this day. It’s dark, it’s gritty, it’s apathetic, it’s hopeless, it’s everything you should not be but for the sake of a hypothetical thought exercise and an escape into your mind? Well for that it’s perfect.

Takeaway:

Currently we live in nothing short of miserable times. Ai is trying to replace art, the news is scary 24 hours a day, and all my favourite snacks are increasingly expensive. It’s times when more than anything else we all need someone we can trust and rely on, a good friend, and if you’re going to have a good friend it’s a lot more fun if you can listen to some horribly toxic music together on your way to cure cancer or whatever wonderful thing you’re doing (because I just assume that you, the reader, are a gem to society). Average breakup songs and what not are played out. Right now what I really want is a song about stealing your boyfriends Supra because he cheated on you. Or better yet, a song about you burning your boyfriends Supra to the ground because he forgot to buy you lunch. Maybe, just maybe, with a little more of that energy we can achieve world peace. Or at least make it to next week. Who knows.